I’ve been having a bit of trouble writing lately. It’s not because I don’t have anything to say (trust me. I have A LOT on my mind) or that I don’t know how to say it (trust me. I KNOW how to talk) but it’s because I seem to be running low on hours – do you know we only have 24 in a day?
It seems crazy to me how fast the days, weeks and months seem to pass by insanely quickly. I can barely remember what I did last Monday let alone even have the time to think about how jam packed my life has been since the start of the year. It’s the middle of the year, guys – it’s already June!
It’s not that I’m not appreciative of all the fun things I’ve done and constantly get to do, it just gets to me sometimes that life seems fast paced. Every day feels like a never ending routine and rush. I rarely get to do things ‘for me’ because it seems like I don’t have time fully for myself. All hyped and pumped up for SPM… yikes 😕
And I think. I think a lot. About school how that I didn’t achieve the targets I’ve been aiming for the mid year exam (’cause trial is too near it scares me 😰), about Charming (196 days passed by and still haven’t moved on from your absence 😔), family (esp abt Abang Rain and missing flight MH370 ’cause updates are all but lies), issues that aren’t mine, problems that don’t necessarily affect me – I’m thinking, alwayssss thinking.
Add the thinking with things I actually need to do and the days just zoom by – I’m up early,topical test at 0630hrs, school until 1530hrs (school finishes at 1600hrs/1630hrs during other months) and when school’s over I can’t just veg out. I got homeworks to be done, priorities to settle. Hectic, it is.
I am having a bit trouble fitting in things that I like to do. But what do I like to do?
I talked to a friend about this today and she said that I have to find a happy place, a place that fulfils me and somewhere to go that makes me ‘me’.
I don’t know if this page is my happy place, I’m going to give it a shot, and be more diligent in writing, so we’ll keep this space as a potential happy place 🙂
I am confident that once I find my happy place, life will not seem as rushed and everything will be good again – not that everything isn’t good and beautiful and wonderful now, it is, but I need to realise that in order to be happy in life, I must be happy with me. And honestly, I’m not very happy with me right now.
Me needs to know when to watch less K-shows, and do more prayer during Ramadan. Me needs to stop worrying about what I’m eating, and work out when I promised myself I would (pinky promise! hehu). Me needs to make time for things I like to do, instead of whining about the lack of time or things. Me needs to stop making excuses and just do whatever I want (that’s good for me). Me needs to catch up with the study momentum and be ready by the time trials (…I hope so…). Most important, Me needs to get those blazing straight A’s in SPM, ameennnnn…
Okay, it was kind of nice just letting these random thoughts go off into internet land. I think tomorrow will be another great day. Thanks for reading this, guys – fistbump, okay, have a nice day! x