Maybe one day you’ll wake up feeling 18.

You’ll wake up feeling not quite kid, not quite adult. Everyone treats you as somewhere in between. You’ll wake up feeling like two opposites in one body. 

18 is the year of transition, the epitome of paradox. That weird stage before you get to be your own person. 

Maybe one day you’ll wake up feeling inevitably lost.

But maybe being found is overrated. Maybe being unsure is alright. Maybe confidence is good but uncertainty is just as fine. Can’t I be a conservative liberal? I feel like a submissive feminist. Maybe its possible that I’m a strong willed girly girl. 

Maybe growing up doesn’t mean deciding to be one or the other, maybe its deciding to be you. Whatever concoction that may be. 

I’ve lived a life of in betweens, maybe growing up means that I stop associating that with being lost. Maybe its being at peace with all the paradoxical facets of your being. Maybe everyone who doesn’t get that doesn’t matter. Maybe thats the opposite of loneliness.

We’re okay. We’re lost and we’re doing good.


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